I’m getting fat
Comments(14) I think it may be time to give a short account of my recent misbehaviour. I took a 5-week working vacation break from my job on July 1st. I‘m now more than three weeks into it and things are :evil: … well, judge for yourself.
Why is it like that that when you change the environment, the whole system can fall apart so easily? I have completely lost control over my meals… now they come when they come. I have to eat at my parents’ a lot and even when I’m at my place, my BF enjoys eating sweets, bless him. I don’t have the heart to say no, he is lean and fit and when he’s hungry, he looks at me with a look of a stray dog that hasn’t eaten in a week. I need much more discipline with my food now that I have to keep sweets in the apartment for him. Sometimes, I don’t have enough of it and I go for those cookies or wafers myself.
And my parents, oh my, for them, food is love. They’re too old to change, every time I protest, my mother worriedly asks me if something is wrong and why I feel nervous. If I persist in explaining her that the way she wants me to eat makes me gain weight, she feels hurt. Maybe I’m not patient enough with her or have a bad choice of words, I don’t know. It’s possible. Whatever the reason, I don’t want to stress them out, so I give up and take the food and thank them.
Today, for example, I stopped by my parents’ place for 5 minutes to say hi while I was walking my dog in the morning. The result was that I left their place with a sizeable chunk of homemade apple strudel.
I miss Buddy slim and all of you. I wish I didn’t loose track of what is happening to you. I wish I could at least keep up with the blogs but I can’t. I would need broadband instead of my slow modem for that.
Well, to cut this lament short, I will try to impose more discipline into my life while at the same time trying to work around everyone else’s agenda. I need to, my eating is completely out of whack. I’ll start using a paper journal again. I’ll stand firm on when I eat my meals. I’ll have to throw an occasional homemade strudel into the garbage.
Hey, on the good side, you know what? I may have gained quite a few pounds back (all of them, I was 152 thin morning again), but given the hectic diet plan, it’s no surprise. If I wanted to sustain my normal eating plan here, I would ned double the energy and would need to have a very hard talk with my parents or stop going to visit them. I just wasn’t in the Gestapo mode food wise also because I didn’t want to add more stress into my life at this time, because I quit smoking on July 1st. It’s day 25 of being tobacco free. It’s hard. It’s not really affecting my appetite, but it is affecting my mood and my digestion in a big way. I have to avoid drinking coffee now, because it’s hard to have it with without a smoke, and my blood pressure is so low I just feel lethargic all the time and often have to fight headaches. The lack of coffee has slowed down my metabolism as well, so i feel bloated and puffed up all the time. Aarrhg, you know how it goes. You change one thing and everything starts falling apart. Dash it.
I’m such a week person. I really need to build up my strength to say no to food and not to seek comfort in it. I’m also really grateful for the fact that there are no cigarettes in the house, because that’s the only thing that keeps me straight sometimes.
Keep on keeping on, buddies. Hugs and kisses to all, I’m thinking of you and I’ll be back full force after August 10th.
I’m thinking of you. Be better than me, buddies.